Author Topic: Metro, you're right... (Read 1805 times)

hilljockey · « **on:** April 11, 2011, 07:30:27 pm »

Someone you called soft on Saturday was dropped at Vets on Sunday, in D grade...

Metro Commuter · « **Reply #1 on:** April 11, 2011, 09:17:43 pm »

Yes, but was that theoretical person dropped as quickly as I wason Saturday? No one is softer than a fat KOCC C grader at the first race @ Blackhill...

hilljockey · « **Reply #2 on:** April 12, 2011, 07:40:38 pm »

Not sure, is 4 laps equivalent to your Blackhill ride? Anonymous hopeless joke apparently worked quite hard for 1.5 laps before popping. If my sources are correct his back is still a little sore today.

hilljockey · « **Reply #3 on:** April 16, 2011, 05:13:21 pm »

If only that middle aged loser had found this internet advice earlier (roadbikerider).

Quote

Take a Licking

"I just love doing group rides by myself," groans my buddy Metro at the coffee shop after getting dropped on yet another Saturday ride.

Metro is a stronger cyclist than me, but I didn't get flicked. Why? Rich lacks a keen sense of strategy and pack savvy. Translation: He's not ruthless, sneaky and shameless. I am.

As an old Dutch pro (Chappy?) once explained, it's all about "licking your opponent's plate clean before starting on your own." In other words, do as little work as possible while getting others to do as much as possible.

Here's how:

For starters, never take a pull. Pulls are for 23-year-old "college students" who ride 450 miles a week. They need the extra work to get ready for that upcoming stage race. Middle-aged working stiffs don't. We pull, we die.

Next, never close a gap. Gaps will appear and must be filled pronto. Just not by you. Glue yourself to the wheel of some antsy, ambitious soul. Offer plenty of encouragement: "They're getting away. Go! You can do it . . . great job!" Chump.

Sometimes nobody wants to jump across. Be patient. Glare over your shoulder as if you've been pulling for 15 miles and it's time for all the stinkin' wheelsuckers to step up. Somebody will blink. Then it's all aboard the free-ride express.

Finally, hills. Before the road tilts up, scope out some strong, beefy riders who are good bike handlers. They tend to be steady if unspectacular climbers. More important, they descend like an anvil off a cliff. Hang on, limpet-like, while they tow you back to the 97-pound mountain goats off the front.

Congratulations! You've made it back with the bunch. We're not even at the coffee shop yet, but you've already licked the plates clean.

Metro Commuter · « **Reply #4 on:** April 25, 2011, 02:43:20 pm »

Hmmm.

If my sources are correct, and we all know the answer to that, I heard Son of Hilljockey was banished to the Hilljockey Ve-hicle on pain of immediate cessation of internat use at Chez Hilljockey, to allow Hilljockey to accept the prize envelope from KOCC President Ian and The Joke Stealer Commuter. Those with EPA certified ears could hear loud screams coming from Son of Hilljockey saying "at least tell them I have something on - something like ice skating".

hilljockey · « **Reply #5 on:** April 25, 2011, 06:26:06 pm »

Yes that's all true, well some bits are.

Just don't tell him there was a pineapple in the envelope, I only gave him a redback.

Commuter · « **Reply #6 on:** April 25, 2011, 07:55:10 pm »

Metro

You must admit my delivery was much better .................

Commuter

Metro Commuter · « **Reply #7 on:** April 25, 2011, 08:14:16 pm »

No - you just had a larger audience!

Commuter · « **Reply #8 on:** April 26, 2011, 06:08:28 pm »

You must admit, it was funny.............

Metro Commuter · « **Reply #9 on:** May 09, 2011, 09:59:55 am »

spandexcstacy · « **Reply #10 on:** May 09, 2011, 11:36:42 am »

I have been away from the forum for some time.

Metro is now "right"!

Never thought I would live long enough to see that.

Spandexcstacy.

hilljockey · « **Reply #11 on:** May 15, 2011, 07:21:40 pm »

Welcome back Spandy. Glad you didn't miss Metro's moment.

Actually, the big fella is often pretty spot on with his ideas to unify and improve Newcastle cycling.

Metro Commuter · « **Reply #12 on:** May 21, 2011, 01:53:39 am »

Spandy,

Glad you are back - I am sick of having the hottest legs on the forum. Somehow I think I just became "not right"...

While you are here, tomorrow is KOCC Club Championships - is it wrong to wear my much loved (knicks are the best I have) new HDCC kit? Or should I wear half KOCC and half HDCC, to demonstrate my support for the fasiled merger?

MC

Commuter · « **Reply #13 on:** May 21, 2011, 12:19:03 pm »

Metro

You could wear your team Prawn knicks to cover your......................~~praw~~

Commuter

Gai M · « **Reply #14 on:** May 23, 2011, 07:46:00 am »

Quote from: Metro Commuter on May 21, 2011, 01:53:39 am

KOCC Club Championships - is it wrong to wear my much loved (knicks are the best I have) new HDCC kit? Or should I wear half KOCC and half HDCC, to demonstrate my support for the fasiled (sic) merger?

And a pair of bright orange CCCC socks to show your support for Central Division !

BUT

from what I saw on Saturday, did you decide that the easiest way out of your dilemma was to go uniformless ?

F Grader Silver Medallist.
(and yes, my mother's maiden name was Brown-
F Grade results were (more or less) a Brown family affair)

newcastlecycling

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